Relational Conflict

Do not pay attention to every word people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you - for you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others. Ecclesiasties 7:21

I have concluded that people are not good at dealing with conflict. I believe part of the problem is that we are not good listeners. We read more into what other people are saying than they are actually saying. We hear what we want to hear and fail to understand what it is they are really trying to tell us. We see their words as an attack on our person or character when that is not at all their intention.

I was once told by someone that listening was what they do while waiting for their turn to talk.

Over the past few weeks, we have had a family conflict. I would say that it results from not listening. It seems like everyone wants to play the victim.

"I want that person to understand how they hurt me!"

"You need to say you are sorry!"

"What you are doing is immature!"

"What you are doing is selfish!"

We get so focused on what the other person did to us. We get so focused on vindicating ourselves and justifying our actions that we fail to put ourselves in the shoes of the other person. We so easily recognize their offense against us, but fail to recognize our offense against them.

I pray I will not hear the offense in the words of others but their cry to be understood and listened to. I can take whatever anyone else will shovel out, because I know that Jesus loves me, has died for me, and forgiven all my sins. It allows me to extend grace to others, because I know immense grace has been given to me.

Time

In the time of my favor, I heard your, in the day of salvation I helped you. I tell you, now is the time of God's favor, now is the time of salvation. 2 Corinthians 6:2

I am preaching about the end times this weekend. It has had me thinking a lot about time. We all have a limited time upon this earth. Each moment is precious. There is no time to waste.

I think of the sands of an hour glass. As the sand runs through, there is no turning back. When the sand is dropped to the bottom, you cannot take it back to the top.

I love this verse that tells us now is the time of God's salvation. It is not tomorrow. We are called to declare this message today.

Yet we wait for the right time. In other words we wait for the perfect circumstances. But there are no perfect circumstances in this world.

A couple of nights ago, I attended a meeting at church. During the meeting, my wife filmed this video:



I will not get that moment back. I will have it on video to cherish. But make the most of each day! Because there will never be another today like today.

The Word and Cell Phones

I was told that my mother lost her cell phone. My dad said my mom was lost without it. It reminded me of part of Sunday's sermon last week.

Imagine if we all valued God's Word in the same way we valued our cell phones. That we would carry it with us wherever we went. That if we lost it, we would go back to retrieve it. That we would daily (sometime hourly) check it to see if there was a message for us. That we would allow it to distract us from other activities throughout our day. That make sure to have it in case of an emergency. That we would use it to talk to others.

It is funny, as I write this there is a commercial on TV from US Cellular about how they can help you if you loose your cell phone.

I already do this in a way. You see I keep a Bible on my Palm Handheld. Of course I have more than just my Bible. But it is great to be able to carry God's Word with me wherever I go. I find it especially helpful when Barbara takes me shopping. It gives me something worthwhile to do while I am shopping. Not the shopping is not worthwhile! =)

Christ Compels Us

For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. 2 Corinthians 5:14-15

Christ's love compels us. It is Jesus moves us, movtivates us, inspires us. Jesus equips us, enables us, and provides for us.

I have been frustrated in the past few days, because I have not been able to accomplish everything I want to accomplish. But I realize that it is what I want to accomplish and that I am the one who is trying to do it. It is time for me to do what Jesus is calling me to, and then to leave the results to him.

I will not discover passion for the mission within myself. I will not find any words within myself that are worthy to share with others. I have nothing to give and to offer, but Jesus Christ who died and was raised again.

I was reminded by a brother in Christ at lunch today that my ministry needs to begin and end with Jesus. Without Jesus there is no ministry.

It is Jesus before me, Jesus behind me, Jesus above me, Jesus below me, and Jesus within me.

It is my desire to stop offering my solution, but simply to share Jesus.

Questioning God

Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Tell me if you understand. Job 38:4.

How many questions do we have for God? As a pastor I am often asked questions about God that I am not able to answer.

For many questions - God alone has the answer. I was not there when he laid the earth's foundation. My wisdom pales in comparison to his foolishness (see 1 Corinthians 1:25).

For all these questions we have for God - have you ever considered that God has some questions for us. Many of these questions we find in the Bible.

Here are a few:
Why are you so afraid? (Matthew 8:26)
Why did you doubt? (Matthew 14:31)
Who do you say that I am? (Matthew 15:16)
What is that in your hand? (Exodus 4:2) - What has God given you to serve him?
Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? (Job 38:4)

Maybe we should spend a little more time listening for the question than looking for the answer!

My Confidence

In God we make our boast all day long, and we will praise your name forever. Psalm 44:8

He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will havethe king for his friend. Proverbs 22:11

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 2 Corinthians 4:7

These three verses spoke to my heart today. I confess to the sin of pride. I often find I boast in myself rather than God. I seek to praise my name rather than his. I want others to see the depth of my wisdom and my knowledge. I want for them to compliment my creativity and my athleticism.

I thrive on receiving compliment and being puffed up. Whether it is, "Pastor that was a great sermon today." Or "That was a great catch you made." I confess I like to be the center of attention and to be admired.

This in turn leads to speech that is less than gracious, but is self-seeking. My speech is directed towards my accomplishments seeking the admiration and affirmation of others.

But bragging about this jar of clay is not what God has called me to, nor is it worthwhile. It is about the treasure, Jesus that is within me. Jesus was filled with grace and mercy. He sought to share his grace and mercy with others.

These verses are an encouragement to me to be gracious in my speech. To be encouraging of others. To admire and to affirm them with the love of Jesus.

Bold enough to make a difference

Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves, but our confidence comes from God. He has made us compentent as ministers of the new covenant. 2 Corinthians 3:4-6

As I prepare my message for next week on the end times, I am reminded that we have only a limited time on this earth to make a difference. Today, in Pastor Barry's message I learned that the average 60 year old will have spent 9.5 years in front of the television. We spend so much time on things that really don't make a difference.

I take comfort in this verse that God will give us competence to make the most of our short time on the earth. We have every reason to be bold and courageous knowing the Lord our God is with us and will guide our thoughts, our words, and our actions.

As I plan my calendar this week I will make sure that I am doing things that are worthwhile and bold enough to make a difference.