This is what it is about

This story was shared with me by Brian LeFevre, a member at LOL. It is a story written about his grandmother by his niece.

Bent over a copy of Guideposts, Joe read slowly and carefully while Eleanor, sitting upright in her bed, listened thoughtfully. This scene was a familiar one, part of Eleanor’s daily routine of rising early, followed by Folgers coffee and quiet time with the Lord. Joe knew that when he was finished reading, Eleanor would ask him questions to see if he was paying attention and to ascertain how the reading made him feel. They would share their thoughts and memories with one another, often trading stories about their families. It was in those conversations that their friendship developed, and through the work of the Holy Spirit, Joe came to know God more fully and deeply.

My great grandmother Eleanor Mueller was ninety-nine years old when Joe began caring for her at Lutheran Hillside Village in Peoria, Illinois. The widow of a pastor, mother of three and grandmother of many, Eleanor had lived a rich and faithful life. At ninety-nine she still had the same bright eyes, brilliant smile, sharp wit and no-nonsense attitude she possessed in her earlier years. She was devastated when my great grandfather passed away at the age of ninety-seven in 2002, and in the days following his death, Eleanor often said how much she wished God would take her home to be with Alvin in heaven.

Yet God often surprises us with his plans, and as it turned out, Eleanor had more to do in this world before her time would come.

When Joe Newcomb met Eleanor in March 2006, he was a new employee at the assisted living center. He had taken the position shortly after his mother’s death. It was a difficult time for Joe, and caring for Eleanor was no easy task—she always wanted everything just so. In the beginning, Joe worried Eleanor didn’t like him. Looking back, Joe says, “[Our story] reminds me a little bit of Driving Miss Daisy. [Eleanor] thought I didn’t like her because I used to call her ‘Sunshine.’ She straightened that out right away. . . . I felt a little bit like she didn’t like me. I was totally new at this.” Eleanor confided in her daughter Alice that she felt uncomfortable with the idea of having a male caretaker, but Alice encouraged her to keep an open mind. Yet it took Eleanor some time to warm up to Joe.

And so, time passed. As it did, Joe grew accustomed to Eleanor’s routine, and she began to trust him. Once they began reading and talking with one another, the wall that had formed between them began to dissolve. Eleanor opened up to Joe about her past: she talked about her love for her parents, siblings, husband and daughters and Joe listened intently. In the same way, Joe told Eleanor about his mother’s life and the impact of her death, and Eleanor offered support and guidance. Today Joe says that Eleanor is the one who helped him in his grieving stage.

As they spent more time with one another, Eleanor began to talk with Joe about her faith. “She knew he didn’t really go to church and that really bothered her,” said her daughter Alice. Although Joe believed in God, he did not attend worship services and was wary of returning to the church. Concerned for Joe’s spiritual well-being, Eleanor often told him, “You need a church family.” Sometimes Joe would agree, but he did not act on her advice. Eleanor confided in her daughter that she felt discouraged at Joe’s reluctance, but Alice would remind her, “Mom, you gotta let the Holy Spirit work now.”

Advent came and went, and during that season of anticipation and new birth, something miraculous happened. Early on Christmas Eve, Joe asked Eleanor what her plans were for Christmas Day, expecting to hear about a family celebration. Instead, Eleanor informed him she planned to stay in her room. Joe looked at her in disbelief: he knew how much Eleanor’s family meant to her, and he urged her to reconsider. It was no use; she did not want to go, and it seemed to Joe that there was nothing he could say to change her mind. Except . . . there was one thing he knew might make a difference—but it would mean Joe would have to overcome his own adamant resistance.

After taking a deep breath, Joe said, “Eleanor, I’ll make a deal with you. I’ll go to church tonight if you go your daughter’s house on Christmas Day.” Eleanor’s eyes grew wide and she turned her head, deep in thought. She sat for a moment, reveling in what Joe had just agreed to. Sure enough, she accepted his deal, eyes twinkling with a secret grin.

That evening, Joe worshiped at Trinity Lutheran for the first time. Joe felt ineffable warmth in the room that night—a feeling he’d never experienced before. “I knew this was where I was supposed to be,” he said. On Christmas Day Eleanor held up her end of the deal and joined her family for their holiday gathering.

Over the next year, Eleanor’s health deteriorated, and she increasingly relied on Joe for support. He was there for her when she was having a “down day,” and she was there for him when he was feeling sad. They continued to read and share and connect, but Eleanor’s condition continued to worsen. As her family members came to visit, it seemed that she was saying good-bye to some of them for the last time.

Soon it was Christmas Eve again. When Joe asked Eleanor what her plans were for that evening, she remarked that she would be staying in her room. Joe knew Eleanor was feeling very weak, but he felt she needed to spend one last Christmas praising God in the nurturing environment she loved. This time Joe was the persistent one, and he urged Eleanor to attend the service: “Don’t you think it’s time for you to say good-bye to the church?” he asked. Eleanor’s eyes sparkled, and, realizing the significance of Joe’s words, she replied, “You know, I think I can do that.”

That Christmas Eve, Joe again worshiped at Trinity Lutheran, this time alongside Eleanor, who was beaming with joy. She was simply radiant as she stood in church that evening, dressed in a crimson-colored jacket that once belonged to Joe’s mother. Later on that evening, as Joe readied Eleanor for bed, he noticed that she seemed completely at peace. Three days later she went home to her Father in heaven. She was one-hundred and one years old.

It is always bittersweet when a loved one who has lived a long and faithful life passes away. Our family was happy that my great grandmother had joined great grandpa in heaven, but we will always miss her gentle heart and strong faith that continued to shine until death.

While she was alive on earth, Eleanor did not see Joe become a church member (as she had hoped), but Joe says that after that Christmas, he knew he needed to be a church member for his life to be complete. A few months after Eleanor’s funeral, Joe went to the new member information class at Trinity Lutheran and made a commitment to the church. That year Joe was baptized and became a church member. Joe is very active at Trinity today: he attends regularly, serves as an usher, and now thinks of the church as his family. Looking back, Joe says his relationship with Eleanor left a lasting impact on his life—her friendship and guidance was an unexpected gift from God. “There was a reason why we got put together. When I was with Eleanor it gave me a doorway to make more of a commitment [to God]. She helped me grow in my faith, and she led me to where I am today.”

Now and again, it’s easy to forget how powerful it is to simply invite others in our immediate circle to partake in the simple act of devotion or worship. Perhaps it is because we worry about rejection; we are afraid of going outside of our comfort zone or appearing too evangelistic. Maybe it’s because an invitation implies a sort of commitment on our part to hold up “our end of the deal” and follow through in answering questions and making a guest feel comfortable.

But the truth is, oftentimes we make sharing the good news harder than it needs to be. It’s a simple conversation, “full of grace” (Col 4:6) that can plant a seed; a prayer that can ignite the Holy Spirit; an invitation, a special deal that can initiate growth. If we, like Eleanor, “go and tell them how much the Lord has done for [us]” (Mark 5:19), wonderful, everyday miracles can happen.

E. Dalpini